creepy winky house

Men Are Talking
by tom ianelli

You are such a stupid piece of shit

What?

What?

Dude did you call me a stupid piece of shit

What?

Did you call me a stupid piece of shit?

Of course not

Are you sure?

Of course, I’m not that kind of guy

Okay cus that’s really mean

Exactly bro that’s why I would never say that

I wish I could swim better

Yeah you suck at swimming

Wow

Bro I’m sorry you suck

You’re sorry I suck?

Yeah

Dude you’re not that much better

Yes I am

No

I am. I’m an incredible swimmer

Damn you are, you're right

Yeah and you suck bro

Fuck, I do suck

Yeah.

Well what do I do?

Nothing, that’s just how it is

But can’t things change?

No not really man

Shit that sucks

That’s life brother

Damn

Also I think your sister is cute

What are you serious?

Nah I’m jus playing

Jeez you scared me

Question, would you rather be smart or smell good?

Smart

You would say that

What does that mean?

Nothing

Dude are you saying I smell bad?

No

Why did you say it like that?

What?

Why did you sound like you were lying?

I wasn’t?

Seriously dude, do I smell bad?

No

Will you tell me if I smell bad?

Yes

Okay good

You smell bad

Are you serious?

No I’m messing with you. But you should shower more

Okay

Yeah

I’ll shower more

Good

Dude I’m exhausted

Wow, really?

Yeah

Wow from what?

You know…life…being sad. I’m exhausted from being sad

You’re sad?

Yeah. Really sad

Awww

Yeah

Are you crying?

Yeah dude

Wow

Yeah

Cus you’re sad?

Not just cus I’m sad

What else?

Cus I think sometimes about how we are all gonna die

Oh wow you do?

Yeah

Wow that’s so intense bro

Yeah

Anything else?

Yeah I’m also vegetarian and no one cares

Oh

Yeah

Okay

Do…do you care?

About what?

My vegetarianism

Oh… No

You see?

Yeah that’s tough dude

Yeah and it’s every day

Wow

It’s every second

Oh wow oh wow wow

Yeah just all the time man

Well—

I’m just sad all the time

Well—

I can’t even wake up in the mornings

Well that’s life bitch

Did you just call me bitch?

Yeah do you think it’s cool?

No man that’s not cool

You don’t think it’s cool like if I call other guys bitch? Like in an irreverent way?

No not at all

Shit

It’s kind of offensive too

Damn it is, why?

I don’t know but it feels like it when you say it

Okay wow. Really?

Yeah

Shoot

Not cool man

Not cool?

Yeah. I’m kind of uncomfortable

Damn you are? I’m sorry

Yeah I think you should just go maybe

Really? Damn. Damn. I’m sorry bro

I’m not your bro

You’re not?

No dude you should leave

Okay I’ll go

Yeah

Yeah

Okay

Okay

Gimme a kiss first?

What?

No nevermind

No what did you say?

I asked if you want a kiss

Dude why would I want a kiss

Idk man forget it

No bro why tf would I want to kiss you

Dude chill out

Just get out of here bro

Okay man I’m going

Then go

Okay I am

Get out of here

Calm down

Don’t tell me to calm down

I’m sorry

Don’t apologize just get out of here

Aight

Don’t say aight

Why not?

It sounds forced bro

Aight

Dude

Shit I’m sorry

Bro stop it and just leave

Okay

Seriously

I’m going

Then go

I’ll see you tomorrow

Yeah tomorrow

Bye bitch